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The One Thing that makes the difference in business- with Jay Papasan

The One Thing that makes the difference in business- with Jay Papasan

Writer, Government and Company Speaker – Jay Papasan

I’m excited to have my fantastic good friend, Jay Papasan, on the present! On this episode, Jay talks all about his guide – The One Factor: The Surprisingly Easy Fact Behind Extraordinary Outcomes, which has bought over one million copies worldwide and garnered greater than 500 appearances on nationwide bestseller lists, together with #1 on The Wall Road Journal’s hardcover enterprise record.

Jay is a bestselling writer, government and company speaker. He’s the VP and Government Editor of Keller Williams Realty Worldwide, the world’s largest actual property firm. He’s greatest recognized for co-authoring, with Gary Keller, books reminiscent of The Millionaire Actual Property Make investments and The ONE Factor.

As a BONUS to Eventual Millionaire listeners, Jay is freely giving these two paperwork:

A number of Studying Goals for this episode:

  • Methods to determine your prime precedence and truly do one thing with it.
  • How the One Factor helps individuals be extra productive and extra conscious of their priorities.
  • Methods to be accountable to your group and household.
  • The 4 thieves of productiveness.
  • Easy methods to systematically create a course of to plan and create objectives which are partaking.

Jay’s Web site:

Transcript: Obtain

Video Transcription offered by GMR Transcription Providers.

Jaime Masters: Welcome to Eventual Millionaire. I’m Jaime Masters and I’m so excited to lastly have my fantastic good friend, Jay Papasan. He lives right here in Austin and but we aren’t in individual proper now. He’s the VP of Keller Williams and in addition the Government Editor. He additionally wrote the e-book and co-wrote the e-book, I ought to say, The One Factor, which everyone ought to have purchased already. And in the event that they haven’t, ensure you go examine that out. Additionally they have a podcast that you simply also needs to take heed to by the identical identify – The One Factor. Thanks a lot for approaching the present at the moment, Jay.

Jay Papasan: I’m so excited to be right here. We met perhaps 4 years in the past over espresso and I’ve been a fan of yours ever since. So, I’m tremendous flattered to be in your present.

Jaime: Nicely, one million occasions thanks for every little thing. You gave me a lot superb recommendation and I didn’t even, I had simply moved to Austin and didn’t actually know very many individuals and also you have been gracious. I don’t know why you have been so gracious, however you have been ridiculously gracious once we first met and you’ve got been ever since. So, I really like the character that you’ve, to have the ability to share your knowledge with individuals. As a result of, sadly, it’s not – lots of people on-line do that. In individual, completely totally different. Does that make sense?

Jay: Yeah, it does. I found late in life that I like educating and training. It’s simply one thing I might do without spending a dime and I do totally free. So, I like serving to individuals. That’s why we wrote books, finally. So, yeah, I attempt to be a pleasant man and position mannequin that for my youngsters.

Jaime: Properly, you do a tremendous job. So, inform us about The One Factor, if no one’s ever heard of it, which I’m positive they’ve. It’s in like each airport bookstore humanly attainable. However inform us what the premise of The One Factor is.

Jay: Positive. The premise of The One Factor is everyone understands some issues matter greater than others. We’ve heard of the 80/20 precept. The e-book simply type of takes that to an excessive. How do you determine your prime precedence after which truly do one thing with it? So, it’s a reasonably easy ebook. It’s humorous, you take a look at the five-star critiques they usually’re like, “Oh, we love how easy it’s!” Then you definitely take a look at the one-star critiques they usually’re like, “It’s so easy.” I’ll take that as a hit. We actually needed individuals to have the ability to determine the factor that issues most after which do one thing about it. So, actually the core of the ebook helps individuals be extra productive and extra conscious of their priorities.

Jaime: To truly do it, proper? As a result of we don’t want extra details about learn how to do it, we have to truly put up or shut up, proper? After which truly do the work.

Jay: I’ve an enormous bias. I’ve been in publishing for 20 years and I’ve been part of a number of books that I didn’t write which have bought hundreds of thousands of copies. So, I’ve been very privileged to work on some huge tasks. I’ve an enormous bias in the direction of there are nice books. Like, I really like Malcolm Gladwell. He modifies the best way I view the world and that’s very onerous to do. However I feel the subsequent step is then to inform individuals what to do with that info. I really like that my associate, Gary, feels very strongly. We love paradigm-shifting books, however we love the books that shift our paradigm after which are courageous sufficient to say, we expect that is the way you do it.

Achievers, individuals such as you and the individuals who take heed to your podcast, they’re sort of going to take motion. All you could do is level them in the best path. You don’t should do a guide that makes individuals gloss over, however you do have to be daring sufficient. So, that’s an enormous bias of ours. That’s an enormous a part of the ebook. What’s the motion you should take to make this end result occur for you?

Jaime: Sure. Then it’s like okay, go do it. Which, don’t get me fallacious, it’s straightforward. Like, we have been simply speaking about earlier than. It’s straightforward to create distractions regardless of the place you’re, however sitting down and doing the work makes an enormous distinction. We have been speaking about earlier than aim setting. I do know so many, and me too, proper? I wrote objectives down after which they went someplace in my pc or they went on a bit of paper that went someplace after which they disappeared and nobody remembers what occurs to them, proper? So, how do you guys plan and create objectives within the guide, the one factor, that time?

Jay: So, clearly figuring out the one factor doesn’t imply you don’t produce other issues to do.

Jaime: Thanks.

Jay: We now have a course of and I’ll simply offer you a fast glimpse. Like, this can be a very analog model. I’ve an digital model. However everybody on our staff, everybody in our group, we’ve our annual objectives. I solely have 5. Not a ton, however I do know what my No. 1 is. Then each month, you create this doc and say, based mostly on my annual objectives, what do I’ve to realize this month? So, that is actually solely the large stuff. That’s not your to-do record. That’s an entire separate factor. However then each week, we break it down based mostly on what I’ve to do that month, what do I’ve to do that week.

So, you’re actually systematically breaking issues down and what I really like about it, I imply, I feel I shared, lots of people have nice strategies for setting objectives. I don’t assume ours is very distinctive. We do speak about working backwards from them, which I feel is a unique method of doing it. However we get individuals to interact each week. I feel that’s the important thing. I do know so many individuals who launch their January with superb ambitions. They could even write enterprise plans. After which these get caught in some file in Google Docs or actually within the drawer of a desk they usually don’t get pulled out once more till they’re setting objectives for the subsequent yr.

So, setting objectives isn’t the difficulty. It’s being engaged with them. And per a few of our different conversations, are you speaking your objectives together with your core staff? That might be your small business group and your private life workforce. As a result of each of them can both make it occur or cease you lifeless in your tracks.

Jaime: See, as a coach, I feel it’s hilarious. Half the time, I’m going, “Do you keep in mind whenever you stated that this was the objective? Keep in mind that entire half?” Simply the reminder of what you stated you have been going to do earlier than is extraordinarily useful. So, how do you truly implement that? Particularly on the month-to-month and the weekly objective aspect? Who’s holding us accountable? We don’t have anybody and therefore the rationale why more often than not we don’t do it.

Jay: Nicely, in our group, I meet with everybody who reviews to me weekly and it averages out to love 3 times a month. We simply, in actual time – like Labor Day was this week, in order that’s a Monday assembly for us. If that Monday was vacation, we push it to the subsequent week. So name it 3 times a month I sit down with them and ask them, “How did your week go? How do you are feeling about that?” “Based mostly on that, what would you do in another way?” And “Do you want any information or expertise or assist?” It’s actually these 4 elementary questions.

They present up in another way, however that approach, from an organizational stance, I all the time know what their priorities are and I can make it possible for they’re aligned with mine. On a private degree, who’s your accountability companion? Our personal Fb group round The One Factor, the entire aim of that was to offer that suggestions for individuals who don’t have an accountability companion, who might not really feel like they’ve earned the fitting to rent a coach. I imply, I feel the last word – I’ve a coach. My spouse has a coach. I work with Gary Keller. He’s a billionaire. However I pay for a coach as a result of I do know and you already know, since you’re a coach your self that instructions quite a bit, that’s an enormous supply of accountability.

So, hopefully you’ve a coach. In case you don’t have a coach, you will have a boss that may sit down with you. For those who don’t have a boss, you’ve a peer companion. All three – the final one is free, proper? The opposite one is organizational and the opposite one is one thing you pay for. There are many methods to get accountability, however I feel the individuals who simply do it by themselves, I don’t assume that’s the perfect recipe for extraordinary success. It doesn’t imply it’s not attainable, however I do know, I all the time view my actions by means of my intentions. I meant to do it after which my youngsters obtained sick or no matter. My coach makes me squirm.

He says issues like, “Are you succeeding or are you failing so slowly you assume you’re succeeding?” I’m like, gah. He’ll make me squirm, however he’s prepared to carry the mirror up once I wouldn’t do this for myself. I feel I’m fairly accountable, so I do assume it requires another person, finally. You’ve got plenty of decisions for that.

Jaime: I agree one million occasions over. As a result of typically if you need to take a look at one thing and you actually need to take a look at it and also you want another person to shine it in your face, proper? So, how can we work out – so, in case you have 5 objectives, how do you determine what’s – do you have got a enterprise objective that’s No. 1 after which a private aim? As a result of individuals get confused as to what to place the place. Since you solely have a lot time.

Jay: All proper. So, I’ll convey this up once more. You possibly can’t see it. There are solely two columns. Skilled and private. I encourage all of my individuals to additionally inform me what their private objectives. In my expertise, in the event you pay pretty, which I feel most employers do, you’ve got some type of construction for development, proper? That individuals who actually succeed get an opportunity to go on to greater issues, extra duty, extra pay. That ought to be the norm on the market. I do know there are dangerous bosses. I feel that most individuals depart their employers not as a result of their skilled life isn’t occurring, it’s as a result of they’re skilled life is presenting their private life from occurring and that’s much more painful.

So, I need to know what their No. 1 is on each side. I can coach them on their skilled aspect and I can be sure their skilled aspect isn’t encroaching on their private. And if there’s and that’s an deadlock, I do know it’s coming at the very least and we will begin planning for them to go someplace the place they will make each occur on the similar time. So, that’s what we train. There’s truly, the one web page on this ebook, The One Factor, that I’ve memorized is web page 114, and we speak concerning the seven areas of your life the place you’d apply the rules of the guide: your religious life, your bodily well being, your private relationships, your private life, your job, your corporation, your funds.

As a result of it’s an enormous query, proper? What’s your one factor? You don’t have to make it what’s the one present I can stream on Netflix tonight. It ought to be extra essential, however it’s not for all the things. So, I sort of encourage individuals to set objectives in all of these areas, however I actually take note of their private life and their skilled as a result of these two can actually conflict and it may make individuals very sad.

Jaime: I assume I’m at first. Since you truly care too, nevertheless it’s sensible of you to try this from a enterprise perspective as a result of you’ll be able to truly be sure that they’re glad as people, which can make them extra joyful once they’re working with you anyway. So it’s fantastic each side round, everyone’s principally joyful.

Jay: Properly, there’s an entire era of those that anticipate their job to satisfy some a part of their private mission in life. They need which means of their work. When you’re not tapping into that on some degree in some systematic means, I feel you’re not a terrific enterprise individual since you’re not going to have loyalty. You’re going to have extra turnover than you want. I’ve one worker that’s labored with me for ten years. It’s simply superb the institutional information she brings within the room.

Simply an instance of this, she’s had two youngsters whereas she’s labored for me and each occasions, the No. 1 factor for her in her private life was to have the ability to get house at a sure time, stroll the canine, stroll with the stroller, and speak to her mother. Like, she wanted to get again to her mother position. So, we engineered a whole lot of her skilled life. I didn’t decrease her objectives, however we made positive that occurred. And that one trade, simply me making compromises round one factor, I feel it’s led to a variety of that relationship being a internet constructive for ten years. I imply, who stays anyplace for ten years?

Jaime: Yeah, now? Yeah.

Jay: However I do assume that’s an necessary a part of the puzzle.

Jaime: That’s big. Okay, so how do you do that? As a result of we’re pulled in so many various instructions, proper? So, you’re serving to her and also you’re serving to all of your different staff. After which you might have your spouse and you’ve got kiddos, proper? You stated your son was 14 and 6 foot? That’s, we’re huge people. How do you just remember to’re accountable to your loved ones, too? We have been simply speaking about that earlier than.

Jay: Positive. I assume it’s now 13 years, perhaps that is 14 years. I haven’t stored actual monitor. My spouse and I’ve been doing a goal-setting retreat. This has been large. My spouse can also be an entrepreneur. She runs an actual property group that’s working in three cities in Texas and in addition in St. Louis. They will do, I don’t know, $200 million this yr? So, it’s not a small enterprise. She’s obtained an enormous enterprise and she or he’s Chairperson of the Board for 2 totally different charities.

Jaime: Wow.

Jay: So, she’s received lots happening, proper? So, there’s pure pressure between my skilled and entrepreneurial life and hers. I keep in mind she confirmed up one time and stated hey – I don’t know if she examine it or what, however she stated, “I need to take a while off and get on the identical web page.” The very first time we did it, our youngsters – we had by no means spent the night time away from our youngsters. We received on Priceline. The knowledge that she introduced – she will get credit score – is let’s get out of our home. As a result of if we’re in the home, somebody’s going to start out crying, somebody’s going to be preventing over which toy is theirs.

Let’s get out of our surroundings and simply concentrate on subsequent yr. I keep in mind we went to the Hilton downtown as a result of it was the most cost effective lodge. We checked in. She shared that was the primary night time that we spent away from our youngsters they usually despatched champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries to our room. That night time, we had dinner and talked about it and the subsequent day, we simply exit our laptops and labored actually onerous. It labored so properly, we simply haven’t stopped doing it. One of many issues – we truly began doing this as a enterprise final yr, Jeff and I have been educating a category referred to as “Objective Setting for Billionaires.”

It was only a catchy title, proper? We’re enjoying up the fats that our mutual patron, Gary Keller, my co-author, is a billionaire and that is what he taught us. However we had a packed room, proper? Individuals sitting within the aisles, throughout the stage. Over 1,000 individuals on this room and he requested the query, “What number of of you set objectives this yr?” Each hand went up. After which he requested one other query. He stated, “What number of of you set your objectives together with your vital different or your associate?” And each hand however 4 went down.

That’s once I knew it. I used to be like, okay, this isn’t simply one thing that Wendy and I are doing, that is one thing that each one enterprise individuals must be excited about as a result of the power went by means of the ground. That’s precisely what you’re not purported to do as a public speaker. As a result of everyone simply went inner, like uh-oh. Proper? However then we obtained this nice probability to consider, why is it so essential to get on the identical web page with the people who matter most and it’s simply large. I’m an introvert and my spouse’s an extrovert. We now have to do a specific amount of entertaining.

I’m much more tolerant of the truth that my hardest week of the yr once I’m on stage in entrance of 12,000 individuals, she can also be going to be throwing an enormous “enterprise birthday celebration.” One yr we had 250 individuals in our yard and the police confirmed up and I used to be going to be on stage the subsequent morning. However as a result of I do know that’s truly in alignment with who she is and her objectives, I didn’t get indignant together with her. We didn’t battle. However it took communication to make that occur. Entrepreneurs are the worst. We simply run and assume everyone’s following. That works with some people who find themselves employed by us. That doesn’t work with our household.

Jaime: One million occasions over. And that’s the factor. It’s not such as you went, “Oh, by the best way. I’m the breadwinner and subsequently my spouse has to cope with,” like, she’s operating a enterprise too and to have equal say and equal dedication to the identical objectives. You sort of have to barter, I’m assuming. Inform me what that construction seems to be like on these retreats.

Jay: Nicely, I’ll spotlight one factor you stated that’s very true. I feel that negotiation and compromise is definitely the artwork of staying collectively. There are years the place she has completely operating help for lots of my huge objectives and there are years that I’ve needed to do it for her. I don’t assume our relationship would have lasted if there wasn’t that sort of change. To her credit score, she’s higher at this than I’m, she is going to name me to the carpet. She’ll say, “Hey, I want your assist proper now. You’ve gotten a job.” She’ll inform me what she wants me to do. I like that as a result of I are typically up in my head and I miss this stuff.

So, I see that, although that’s not a cushty second for me. That potential to say hey, we have to provide you with a compromise right here as a result of we’re truly operating in reverse instructions. That’s an enormous a part of it. It doesn’t imply you don’t get to grow to be a millionaire or a multi-millionaire. It’d imply that you simply make a number of concessions alongside the best way and may lose months, not years, in that journey. However I’ll take that if I get to have the individuals I really like most with me on the journey. So, construction. Through the years, it’s advanced. Once we began researching, we researched this ebook for nearly 5 years earlier than we wrote it.

The ideas round how we work backwards from objectives, the seven areas that I described, we began taking our very entrepreneurial strategy. How’s our marriage? How’s our intercourse life? How can we really feel about our cash? It actually began with some monetary objectives. How can we really feel about our internet value? And it turned rather more rigorous. So, would you like me to stroll you thru just like the classes?

Jaime: I would like, yeah, I would like every part. Give me all of it.

Jay: Okay, cool. I may give this to you and you may share it with the listeners if you need. It’s simply a few pages that sort of prime us for shifting ahead. So, the primary night is all the time relaxed. We all the time exit like a Friday night time. We go to dinner and we simply speak. Hey, what’s your subsequent yr seem like? And we’d been fascinated by it. And that’s enjoyable as a result of we virtually all the time speak about holidays. As a result of that’s [inaudible] [00:16:42] the factor that we work for experiences, not stuff. Like, oh, let’s go to Machu Pichu or let’s go to the Galapagos or no matter it’s and we get all excited.

That’s type of the motivation behind our enterprise objectives. So, it’s often informal. We make it possible for we all know what we have to handle the subsequent day. We go to mattress after our enjoyable date night time and we get up the subsequent day. Flip charts, unfold sheets, and it’s often like room service twice. No less than breakfast and lunch. [Inaudible] and we’re working strong typically for eight hours. It’s very invigorating. However the first class, we all the time speak about our monetary. That’s the place it began. What’s our internet value? What’s our revenue? What’s our giving objectives? It’s grow to be extra structured.

Like, our internet value we expect is the last word measure. Once I helped write The Millionaire Actual Property Investor, that was my huge takeaway. Now each month now, each week, we monitor our internet value.

Jaime: Actually? See? [Inaudible] [00:17:34].

Jay: Yeah, and by monitoring our internet value, it retains monitor of our money reserves, every little thing else. It’s only a holistic image of our monetary well being. We monitor our revenue – passive and lively, and we set objectives round them. We monitor our giving. We now have two classes – how a lot cash will we increase this yr and the way a lot will we donate? Our entryway into giving was elevating cash, proper? As a result of we’re constructing wealth. We’re investing it again within the enterprise. We’re investing it in actual properties. So, we felt a bit low cost perhaps, however we discovered that we might increase about ten occasions as a lot as cash as we might afford to provide and that felt good, as a result of we’re giving our time.

So, that’s class No. 1. Can we be ok with our monetary trajectory? Like these final two years, like I stated, we’re 13 or 14 years into this. The jumps we’ve to make to remain on monitor for our objectives are big now. And so final yr and this yr, we’ve been, we’ve to start out a brand new enterprise, we have now to start out a brand new enterprise as a result of simply incremental progress in our present ones shouldn’t be going to maintain us on track. We’d like an entire different income and wealth. However that’s like over time, that’s the place these conversations go.

Jaime: Wow. That’s actually superb to have that a lot technique although, as a pair, proper? Like, hey, by the best way, our objectives are so massive, we’ve got to start out one other enterprise. You understand what I imply? That’s insane.

Jay: I’m a French-English main. I didn’t anticipate to ever be this individual in my life. It simply occurred, proper? I had the suitable individuals round me that nudged me in the proper instructions and it’s been fantastic, like private progress journey for me. However yeah, that’s cool. Like, we glance up and it’s not nearly taking good care of our wants, it’s about what we will do. So, the primary huge class, and that displays our companies. What do our financials seem like? We then speak about our marriage. And that just about comes right down to time. You understand this. We had two youngsters, 16 months aside. The primary one we thought we have been geniuses. The second taught us humility.

Jaime: I’ve by no means heard that earlier than, however that’s nice.

Jay: I’m a coach, proper?

Jaime: Sure.

Jay: And it’s time. Proper now, I assume for seven or eight years, each Wednesday night time, individuals know that’s our date night time. We simply determined that we might construct a ritual, a behavior, which is all concerning the one factor, proper? Of commonly getting time collectively with out the youngsters. We in all probability internet 40 date nights a yr. We don’t get it each week. We journey. We converse. Like tonight, my son’s received a karate class, so we’ll go on date night time on Thursday night time. However the truth that it’s a ritual, it’s humorous. Individuals on Wednesday say, “The place y’all going out tonight? Are y’all going to the films?” The world truly strains as much as help you at a sure level.

So, we’ve sort of boiled it right down to, do we now have time that we’re truly spending collectively that’s not cleansing the dishes and altering diapers and issues like that. It’s truly time. Like, we had youngsters as a result of we have been in love with one another. Let’s remind one another of that versus making all of it concerning the youngsters on a regular basis. I really like my youngsters, however I really like my spouse extra.

Jaime: And it’s all the time like, keep in mind that? Keep in mind that entire earlier than youngsters factor? It’s very fuzzy in your head. However, you keep in mind it on Wednesday nights solely. No.

Jay: Nicely, a minimum of I do know that there’s all the time an island, proper, that we get to take a break and remind ourselves why all this occurred. We then speak about our household. As a result of we now have one. We borrowed one thing I assume 4 years in the past from Grit. Have you ever learn Grit by Angela Duckworth, by any probability?

Jaime: Sure, I’ve. Sure.

Jay: I really like on the very finish, they’ve Grit for Households. And we simply stole this. I’ve talked to Angela and I stated, I steal this from you, however I offer you credit score. However there’s a tough factor rule in our household. Everyone has to have a tough factor. You get to decide on, however you don’t get to give up. And so each, like we simply went by means of this. My daughter enrolled in artwork courses. She’s not snug as a result of it’s a much bigger group than she likes. She’s an introvert like her dad, however she has to stay it out. My son simply began rowing. That’s his onerous factor proper now. My spouse and I work out with a coach at 5:30 within the morning. That’s our arduous factor.

We’ve to keep it up. I really like that as a result of one, we get to speak about our youngsters, like what actions. Stuff each mum or dad does. Do they want a coach? That each one naturally comes. However we additionally speak about what do we expect are the onerous issues that may most profit our youngsters proper now? So, that’s a dialog. That’s often enjoyable. We get to be somewhat, I don’t know, anthropologist and human engineers just a little bit with our youngsters, as a lot as will allow us to as tweens and youngsters. We speak about our religious life. For some individuals, that’s a spiritual life. For us, it’s religious. We make an enormous stand round gratitude in our home.

Social stuff. I advised you. Can we need to have extra dinner events? Can we need to have extra occasions? That’s a concession to my spouse. We needed to make it a aim class or each date that we had I’d be sitting in a darkish theater not speaking to her.

Jaime: No less than we all know the place you stand. I’m within the center.

Jay: You’re within the center. You’re an ambivert.

Jaime: Sure.

Jay: Okay. Each psychology check I’ve ever taken, the No. 1 trait about my character, I’m very pushed, all these issues. Nevertheless it’s introversion. Being married to somebody who runs a gross sales firm, that’s one thing that we’ve to debate or we’re going to battle about it. That’s simply the reality. And we nonetheless struggle about it.

Jaime: I really like each time like I see you and also you’re at one thing, everybody’s like “Oh, you’re out! Oh, take a look at you!” And also you’re like “Yup, yup. I’m going to go away quickly. However I’m right here and that’s what issues.” It’s spectacular. You possibly can see your grit.

Jay: I attempt to be purposeful about that. I do know to be a enterprise individual I’ve to community and that’s our espresso date, proper? I’m good at one-on-one. However for 4 years, working with my coach, I stated, “I need to add 50 individuals to my database. 50 gifted individuals. That’s simply not even one lunch each week, proper? I’m taking two weeks off for trip. However that one little behavior, simply being methodical, planning it. Having accountability round it has completely modified my life. Assembly individuals such as you, Billy Murphy, Noah Kagan.

Invites result in different invites and open doorways in case you present up prepared to assist individuals. So, that social query is a networking query. It’s additionally a wedding compatibility query given me.

Jaime: [Inaudible] [00:23:55].

Jay: We have now three extra classes, actually shortly. We speak about bodily well being. Eating regimen, sleep, stress, and train are the classes. Since we’re each entrepreneurs, stress is an enormous one. I actually don’t need to die of a coronary heart assault. So, we handle our sleep. We handle our weight loss plan. We handle our train as greatest we will. I don’t want a six-pack. I’m fortunately married to my spouse and she or he doesn’t must be impressed by that. I don’t should starve myself, however I additionally need to have the ability to run round with my youngsters, proper? So, we speak about that. It’s truly worse for her.

There are loads of hormonal points that ladies of their late age can go into after they’ve had youngsters and in the event that they aren’t managing their stress, it may be actually detrimental. So, that may get pretty concerned and we frequently should set future reminders. Like, we now have an appointment with a man named Dr. Obe right here in Austin and we’re all going to get our bloodwork completed. And certainly one of our objectives this yr was like, let’s be sure that – we all know we’re maintaining a healthy diet however we don’t truly know that we’re getting what we’d like for our DNA and physique sort. So, being a bit of purposeful there. It’s a bit nerdy however 14 years into it, that’s the place you go.

Jaime: However I really like that it’s not on a whim. Like, oh, I heard this factor and it’s nice. No, no, I’m being very intentional about doing that as an alternative of simply doing a random factor. That’s superior.

Jay: That’s about my character. I don’t do whims. I simply can’t. I say no to the whole lot. Then we’ve got artistic objectives. Are there artistic issues? Like, my spouse may need to do crafts or begin a backyard. And that’s a negotiation. As a result of when she begins a backyard, guess who has to wash up? Proper? And I set a aim two years in the past to be on a TED or a TEDx stage. That really occurred earlier this yr and that was actually nice for me. However that doesn’t occur until you set it in writing. I put it on the market and it’s humorous, the second I had it on my objectives, which the humorous factor is, I’ve my little aim sheet proper behind it.

I’ve the deck. It says “5-year household objectives.” That’s what my spouse are engaged on this retreat. It’s all the time with me. I keep in mind some man stated, “How can I allow you to?” I flipped to the primary web page and I stated, and it’s onerous for me to place this on the market. I stated, “You recognize, I’ve been considering, what wouldn’t it do for me and our ebook and our enterprise if I might speak about The One Factor on a TED or TEDx stage.” He goes, “Hey! In December, I’m facilitating one.” And it occurs. The final one we begin with and we finish with is trip.

Jaime: Sensible! So sensible!

Jay: It’s our reward, proper? So, the place can we need to go this yr? What does that contain? Do we have now to save lots of? One yr we went to Machu Pichu and we went to the Galapagos Islands in the identical yr. That was an enormous selection. However we’re in that a part of the world and we’re like okay, that is primarily going to value our household as a lot as it will to place a down cost on one other rental property. And I write actual property investing books. That’s a wide selection. As a result of that $30,000 or $40,000 that you simply’ve spent on an expertise might flip into $400,000 in 15 or 20 years. And so that you’re making these selections collectively.

And we’re like, you realize what? So long as our youngsters need to journey with us, and that’s not a given – I talked about this. This was the guts of my TEDx speak. When my youngsters have been 6 and 5, it was our first the place each of them had a spring break. I went into the workplace. We simply purchased a brand new home. Gary requested me, my co-author Gary stated, “The place you all going for spring break?” And I stated, “You already know, we’re like so stressed, we’re going to do a staycation and luxuriate in the brand new home and the brand new pool.” He checked out me and he goes, “You understand you solely have ten left?” He simply hits you, low blow.

Jaime: Yeah, I simply felt it.


Jay: I do know. And I used to be like, “What do you imply?” I used to be truly indignant with him. He goes, “In ten years, Gus goes to be 16. The probabilities that Gus, Wendy, Veronica and Gus are happening spring break are fairly slim, I can inform you that from expertise. They’re going to need to deliver their associates or go together with their buddies. Perhaps he needs to deliver his girlfriend with you. However that dynamic, you’ve obtained ten left. How are you going to make use of them?” So, you speak about accountability, proper? That was the theme of the sooner a part of this dialog.

He introduced one thing to me and that made this trip to me not nearly enjoyable, however based mostly on the place our youngsters are, what do we have to do with them whereas they nonetheless actually need to hang around with us? Theoretically, I do know [inaudible] [00:28:23]I do know I went via it. On the opposite aspect, there’ll be adults and we’ll get to do that once more, however proper now we’ve this opportunity and so we’re making an attempt to take advantage of us.

Jaime: Okay. So, I’m writing that down as to now I’ve to take a look at the place my spring break goes to be as a result of I’ve approach lower than I even imagined as a result of I by no means considered it earlier than. Thanks very a lot for the kick within the abdomen.

Jay: Isn’t that a kick within the intestine?

Jaime: Sure.

Jay: This actually killed me, however it was such a present. You realize what the irony is? Once we got here again from the Galapagos Islands and Machu Pichu? This was final yr. [Inaudible] [00:28:56]. We requested the youngsters. So, of all of the locations you’ve been, France, Italy, Ecuador, all these locations. We’ve actually traveled quite a bit. We’ve been to Disneyworld, you identify it. Each of them stated, with out hesitation, “Our favourite trip was that staycation.” And we’re like God.

Jaime: Are you kidding?

Jay: No, however that’s simply who they’re.

Jaime: Youngsters.

Jay: They’re homebodies just a little bit. We all know that we’re nonetheless doing the fitting factor, proper? Gus truly amended it this yr after my TED speak, he goes, “Jay,” Jay. “Dad, I feel now my favourite journey is the Galapagos. I nonetheless take into consideration that.” I’m like, sure, we’re doing one thing proper.

Jaime: See? I by no means traveled once I was youthful, so I hold assuming that I need to give these to my youngsters and my have executed the very same factor, the place they’re like, “I don’t need to go far. Let’s take a street journey three hours away.” I’m like, “Properly, we might go to Bali!” They’re like, nah. I do know. However, however, as a way to have that selection, even in the event you make a loopy selection as a child, is totally different than by no means being provided the selection in any respect. So, thanks for making me take into consideration that once more. However I really like that you simply put that on each side of your retreat. As a result of I really feel like –

Jay: That’s our motivation. We like to journey. That’s how my spouse and I related. Our first date, all we did was stroll about I lived abroad. She had been backpacking in Syria and all these loopy locations. I used to be like, I really like this lady! However it was all about journey. So, that’s our ardour. So, I assume in case your ardour is cash, then perhaps you ebook in that. It provides us a spot to begin to get the power going and it provides us one thing to look ahead to. So, I do assume that’s a private selection round us. It sounds prefer it strains up with you. However for listeners, it may be one thing else. Perhaps it’s the household or no matter. I don’t know.

Jaime: You spend eight hours with flip charts although and no distractions. Do you might have any ideas for give attention to that? As a result of that’s a whole lot of intense work. That’s like going and doing a enterprise factor hard-core.

Jay: Nicely, at first, like I’ve simply received two pages of questions. It solely took a couple of hours. A number of the questions have been like, when you could have small youngsters, it’s like how do you are feeling about our intercourse life? I used to be like, we’re actually going to speak about this? I’m like yeah. However we’re going to speak about it when somebody’s not mad about it or feeling harm about it, proper? So, that is once more, my spouse will get all of the credit score. It’s turn out to be an extended course of as a result of over that time period, our lives have gotten greater. To inform you it solely takes eight hours, that may be a lie. We actually, there’s like a month of goal-setting for us. We speak about – I already know the place we’re going. I’m going to talk at EntreLeadership in October.

Jaime: Oh, good.

Jay: We’re going to be – on Monday, I’m going to be giving a speech there about this very matter. I simply stated, “You recognize what? Let’s make that our goal-setting retreat.” I haven’t hung out in Nashville in lots of, a few years. And so we’ll simply go and spend an extended weekend and that might be our goal-setting retreat. So, we plan the retreat and we begin working backwards. I’ll begin engaged on the paperwork we created final yr, making an attempt to replace them weeks and weeks prematurely. As a result of that’s the truth, proper? You don’t set your small business plans for the subsequent yr in a few hours.

We often stroll in with a marketing strategy for the subsequent yr that we ask one another to poke holes in. Like, these are my objectives for subsequent yr. And so we stroll in with numerous prep work. However I discover this thrilling. I imply, you’re a coach. Perhaps I’ve some teaching DNA in me or no matter, however we each get actually energized by it and it’s often like I’m exhausted once we’re accomplished after which we exit and have a beer and that’s effective. However it’s not often an issue for us. We often have extra that we need to cowl that we don’t have time for. Nevertheless it’s very energizing now. At first, it was awkward and it was brief. However it naturally grew.

Jaime: Properly, simply the quantity of targeted consideration that you simply’re giving to all elements of you as a human is superb. If everyone did that, I can’t even fathom, I can’t even think about my mother and father ever doing something like that, however the world that we reside in is so chaotic, we now have to be very intentional about how we use all of our time. So, you’re going to share that piece so we will go over it?

Jay: I’ll completely offer you that doc and you may share it within the present notes.

Jaime: I used to be making an attempt to write down it down, however man.

Jay: Nicely, I’ve informed you within the final yr we hosted it for the primary time and we’re going to do it once more this yr. So, if people go to, they will discover out about that. However I all the time simply give it away. I’m like, you realize what? I’d adore it if individuals need the facilitated model, however they only have to do it. I really feel that strongly about it. So, pleased to offer it away. And admittedly, that’s all you could begin is simply what questions, what’s the format, so we don’t need to make it up as we go.

Jaime: Do you do check-in? Do you do like a month-to-month check-in together with your spouse or does date night time embrace wanting over objectives? How do you truly be accountable each single month in addition to simply the retreat?

Jay: Nicely, they each go on our 411s. And so we’ve got accountability as a result of we each do that very same course of with our annual objectives. And doubtless I need to say quarterly we formally will examine in and try how are we doing? How did we really feel about this? And one or the opposite of us will name the opposite one out as a result of we each have the identical doc that claims that is what we’re going to do that yr and that is what we’re going to do in 5 years. So, it’s slightly casual and to be frank, our poor coach, she will get to listen to all of this within the morning. We have a tendency to speak about it once we’re understanding.

Jaime: That’s superior. You’re like. This sucks. Grit. There’s a cause. Okay. That’s superior. Aw. So, I so recognize it. And educating your youngsters to have that a lot format at reminiscent of a younger age as a household. Do you’ve household conferences too?

Jay: Properly, we decided a very long time in the past. We have now two meals on the desk. We eat breakfast as a household and we eat dinner as a household. That occurred earlier than we had goal-setting retreats, however we made it a agency behavior. So, they don’t know anything. And so Friday nights is film night time and so we get to eat in entrance of the TV they usually really feel like that’s an actual deal with. Technically, Monday night time we experiment with Monday and Sunday. As an alternative of simply speaking about no matter on the dinner desk, we speak about their week at college. Your youngsters are in an analogous faculty to my faculty.

There’s a whole lot of independence, in order that they need to perform a little bit extra planning. That’s our probability to sort of coach them. I’ve obtained teenagers and tweens now, proper? So, they don’t actually need to speak about it. So, it may be like pulling tooth. With our youngest one, we typically then – Wendy is best at this than I’m. She’ll sit down together with her laptop computer and say, “Let’s deliver up your objective sheet.” And she or he’ll actually sit there side-by-side and speak to her. Typically I become involved as a result of mothers and daughters battle and I’ve to return in. However yeah, we attempt to do it on Mondays. I gained’t fake.

We’ve all this construction and we nonetheless fail on a regular basis, however I feel we now have fewer regrets as a result of we no less than, once we know what we’re saying sure to, it’s rather a lot simpler to say no to the opposite stuff. And so we’re retaining the yeses on the forefront and that permits us to say no to stuff and never get distracted, however we nonetheless fail to do the stuff that’s necessary. I imply, we’re human.

Jaime: I really like that you simply stated that too as a result of we’ve got our summer time objectives that we set as a household on the fridge and typically I’m like, yeah, yeah. I have to hold bringing them up. Oh, summer time’s over. Hm, we should always in all probability go over these once more. Okay, superior. You get busy and issues occur as you undergo every thing and also you’re like, oh, yeah, I’ve to carry my household accountable. However I don’t need to make it crappy for them both. I don’t need to be that – nicely, you stated you have been going to do that and also you’re doing any of it. So, I really like your tackle having one grit objective as an alternative of creating all of them, you recognize what I imply? Actually hardcore.

Jay: Yeah. And the varsity we’re part of, they use Socratic technique, so we don’t get to inform them what to do as a lot as I want to. We have now to ask questions. How do you are feeling about that? Oh, it takes a lot endurance, however I feel that’s the essence of nice teaching too is asking nice questions. It’s fascinating. It by no means will get simpler, in my thoughts, the older they get.

Jaime: Don’t inform us that. No, what? No.

Jay: The older they get, the extra difficult their life is and the extra fascinating they’re too. There’s extra reward, however it’s additionally, I really feel like yearly requires somewhat bit extra of us as mother and father and we get to fail in brand-new methods, spectacular new methods. And study too.

Jaime: Love your optimism. That is nice. Inform me all of the crap you’re going by means of together with your youngsters as a result of they’re older than mine, okay? So, then come inform me all of the knowledge. I’ll have you ever again on the present and you may inform me all of the phases, okay?

Jay: There we go. It was humorous. For my Wednesday espresso, I met with my previous analysis assistant and she or he advised me the phrase for it. There’s a part when your daughter is a young person. Properly, I can’t keep in mind the phrase. Principally, they attempt to distinguish themselves from their mom. She goes, “That’s why. They’re making an attempt to create a brand-new id that’s separate from their moms and that’s why mothers and daughters are likely to struggle a lot.” I used to be like, “Okay. So this can be a actual factor? This isn’t simply one thing that we expect.” I’m like, okay. So, it occurs to all of us. It actually will depend on your youngsters.

Jaime: I’m going to go lookup that phrase as a result of final night time at dinner it was actually enjoyable. I’ve a really nice, negotiating little woman. She’s solely 9. However nonetheless, I’m like, wow.

Jay: You taught her properly. What a terrific trait.

Jaime: I’m now second guessing.

Jay: You don’t need her to lose that, proper? She’ll be a millionaire due to that however it’s additionally going to make you’ve grey hair quick.

Jaime: That’s precisely what we talked about final night time. I’m like, “That is enjoyable. That is, I’m, that is enjoyable. Life’s actually constructive. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.” Grey, grey, grey. Anyway, she’ll thank me later and I hopefully will thank her later additionally, proper? Oh, the knowledge we’re studying from the wrestle that we undergo is an excellent and superb factor. However I really like that you simply shared the failure half too as a result of we don’t need to be good. Whether or not it’s within the enterprise or with the household. It’s about doing the perfect you’ll be able to and hold shifting ahead anyway.

Jay: Perfection is approach overrated.

Jaime: Yeah. You’ll be able to say that.

Jay: I’m a fan of progress. My character, I would like perfection.

Jaime: Okay, that’s what I used to be going to say.

Jay: However enterprise will make you study that progress works too. As a result of there’s simply no perfection in enterprise. I’m sorry.

Jaime: So, give me a tip on that as a result of I do know we’ve to ask the final query in only a second. However give me a tip on that one piece since you do appear to have perfectionist tendencies, as do I. As do loads of enterprise house owners. And it’s painful to get off within the enterprise world, which everyone, I imply no offense, however no one is ideal in enterprise, ever. So, give everybody a tip on that, that’s helped you.

Jay: I feel one of many massive factors within the guide, there’s 4 thieves of productiveness. The primary one shouldn’t be with the ability to say no. The second is worry of chaos. I affiliate the second with what we’re speaking about. I go searching my workplace and there are piles of stuff. It doesn’t look neat. It’s not orderly. The reality is, stacking issues up and alphabetizing your bookshelves isn’t going to make you wealthier. It’s not going to make you extra profitable. So, understanding and simply internalizing, it’s nonetheless painful. Determine the precedence and do as a lot as you possibly can to make that good.

In our enterprise, if we ship our service and we attempt for perfection there, that may be a spot to take a position extra power in that than in in all places. The issue with our personalities is we would like perfection throughout us. So, I attempt to vent that perfection on the issues that want perfection somewhat on the issues that really matter and ignore those, make peace with those that don’t. That’s a every day, hourly wrestle for me. That’s simply the truth of it. For my spouse, it’s not a wrestle in any respect. [Inaudible] [00:40:26] perfection can also be the place we place our garments once we take them off.

I do know that’s not a problem for my spouse. Love her to demise and I’ll, for the remainder of my life, be cleansing up after her. So some individuals, I feel it’s distinctive to you and I perhaps. It’s not a category of individuals. Some individuals it doesn’t matter. However that may be a wrestle for me. I feel it’s one or the opposite. Both you wrestle with no otherwise you wrestle with chaos and that’s very a lot a character sort. That’s an unscientific however knowledgeable reply.

Jaime: Which everybody’s like, sure, thanks for saying it out loud so I don’t really feel so dangerous about it both. All proper. So, the final query, what’s one factor – one factor, hilarious, proper – one motion that listeners can take this week to assist them transfer ahead in the direction of their objective of one million?

Jay: Nicely, I’ll return to what we began with in our retreats. The quantity that we monitor, and we’re each loopy fanatical about it and we’ve gotten everybody on our group to do it, is internet value. It’s the last word measure of your monetary well being. It makes you take a look at a whole lot of issues. I might say arrange a system, whether or not you employ Mint or a very good old style spreadsheet and begin monitoring that quantity over time. I can inform you hundreds of tales. I acquired a observe from somebody in June of this yr. The primary time I coached her to do her internet value was in June of 2008. At the moment, her internet value was -$33,000.

As a result of she began listening to it and began seeing what made it go up and down, she then purchased a home after which purchased 4 rental properties and made totally different sorts of investments. She’s not even an entrepreneur. Ten years later, her internet value was over $1.5 million. That’s one among many tales. That’s only a current one the place in case you take note of the fitting factor, it may well make many issues occur. And so I might simply say, that’s modified our monetary trajectory. Like I stated, I’m an English-French main. I’m not supposed to know these things. So, monitor your internet value. So, I imply, do it this week and attempt to make it a behavior. You may be rewarded.

Jaime: That’s one million, no one ever says that on this present, that for the reply. And that’s what my present is predicated on as a result of it’s not concerning the gross income quantity. It’s not, individuals. Sadly, you can also make one million dollars and don’t have anything. So, thanks a lot for saying that. Everyone, truly heed what he’s saying. Please. Go truly do it and don’t simply say you’re going to do it one million occasions over. Thanks a lot for approaching the present. Inform us the place we will discover out about your retreats or your books or something that you simply need to promote. Your podcast, everybody ought to undoubtedly take heed to. Inform us the place we will discover all that.

Jay: Nicely, undoubtedly if you wish to study all issues about The One Factor, my companion, Geoff Woods, runs our podcast referred to as The One Factor. So, it’s fairly straightforward to recollect and discover. It’s a very good present. Like yours. It doesn’t have the pedigree that you simply’ve been doing this a very long time. However I feel he’s been a fast learner and he’s actually speaking about aim setting and focus. So, he’ll share stuff about our goal-setting retreat. All of that may occur there or at So, that’s sort of – and anyone who needs to seek out me, my final identify, there’s just one Jay Papasan in the USA, so I’m straightforward to trace down and I’ll reply.

Jaime: I like it. Thanks a lot for approaching the present at this time. I actually respect it. Subsequent time, we’ll do it in individual, okay?

Jay: That’s a promise. Thanks.

Jaime: Superior. Have a tremendous day, Jay.

Jay: Thanks.

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Tags: Enterprise Proprietor, entrepreneur podcast, eventual millionaire, jaime masters, Jay Papasan, millionaire entrepreneurs, podcast, setting precedence, start-ups / startups, startup entrepreneur, group accountability, the one factor, thieves of productiveness, prime entrepreneurs

Classes: All, Featured Millionaire Interview, Aim Setting, Millionaire Interviews, Planning, Productiveness, Time Administration


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